Those words were spoken to me when I was a teenager and in the middle of a “life lesson” where I was acting, (as my Mother would say), “a little too big for my britches.” My father and I were having a discussion about some family tasks that needed to be completed before I took the family car to town. He was pointing out that I was neglecting some of the chores around the farm that I was responsible for and driving the family car required that I pull my weight too. Never missing many opportunities to open my mouth….I lashed out in true teenager style about how unfair life was to a young man, namely me. I ranted on about how hard I worked and how much effort I put into EVERYTHING I do…..I yelled at him that I was doing “the best I can…” His calm reply to me… “Well, if this is your best effort…It’s time you learned that, sometimes, your best ain’t good enough.”
Those words have stuck with me to this day….while some may interpret other meanings…I knew my Dad and I KNEW what he meant. He was dead on…as usual. Although I really didn’t know the meaning of the word back then and likely didn’t care too much…I had experienced a Paradigm Shift. The moment had arrived for my –“fundamental change in approach or assumptions.”
Those words opened my eyes to a new way of thinking…My thoughts prior to the event, were that I was doing everything I could possibly do and as such nothing more was needed ….and yet the reality was that: It wasn’t good enough for someone! Wow!! My eyes were opened! It wasn’t all about me. There were others to consider and my value wasn’t just based upon what I thought of myself. My value was measured in different terms than just my own…so just because I “thought” I was doing everything I could….in reality it didn’t appear that way to others. Hmmmm
The fundamental shift for me included the realization that I must grow even further…because it was obvious that my standards of best or good enough, etc. just wasn’t going to get it. So the process began where the value of Jim Garr wasn’t just being based upon a self perception. I realized that sometimes my view of myself was biased…no in fact it was clouded, muddied if you will by my own blindness. I wanted my efforts, as great or as slight as they may be….to be good enough. My father kindly pointed out…it’s not that way junior.
I look around today and I feel I meet people in the world who didn’t have the type of father that I did. It is obvious to me that no one taught them the same lesson in their life. Some have no clue about the need to grow…the need to stretch mind, body, and soul. They are missing a basic understanding that not everyone’s view of who and what you are is the same as yours. I believe it related to understanding a bigger picture of things….not staying in your own little shallow corner of existence. An understanding of when we think we have it all…. that is generally the first clue we are missing something.
My takeaway…never assume you are doing all you can possibly do. Look for other ways, better ways, quicker ways, less costly ways, etc. An old saying I used to use in my Collegiate Basketball days to gauge whether or not I had any more to give is:”If you left your guts on the floor, then you’ve done all you can…” If you haven’t done that…then you haven‘t given it your best effort. I often wonder how different work and family life would be if everyone put that much effort into it.
Yes, I did get to use the family car….after promising to make up for less than 100% effort.
To this day, my measure of success IS NOT based upon my criteria alone…that would be too shallow. I thank my Dad for the education to help me understand, it is bigger than me… Why would anyone settle for something less than best effort?
TAFN
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